#rofl

दुईजना कर्मचारी कुरा गर्दै
पहिलो: आज गुड फ्राईडे कसरी मनाउने योजना छ त ?
दोश्रो: घरमा जान्छु..अस्तिको एक प्याक बाँकी नै छ...त्यहि मासुको भुटुवासँग...दिएर मनाउनु पर्ला । अनि तिम्रो नि ?
पहिलो: घर गएर मेरो सालीको कट्टु फुकाल्छु ।
दोश्रो: हँ ! किन ...?
पहिलो: मैले बिहान हतारमा सालीको कट्टु लगाएर आएछु ।

Reply to @bhu1st: hahaha......rofl

Reply to @bhu1st: hehhehe....rofl!!!

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
STUDENT : "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
STUDENT : Yesterday you said it's H to O!

एउटा कन्जुस बजारमा अन्डरवयर किन्न गएछ ।
कन्जुस : साहुजी , मलाई एउटा अन्डरवयर देखाउनुस त
साहुजी : ल यो लिनुहोस् राम्रो छ
कन्जुस : कती पर्छ यसको ?
साहुजी : ५००
कन्जुस : ओ साहुजी , सधैं लगाउने खालको देखाउनुहोस् , पार्टी जादा लागाउने खालको होइन ।

@nirojs: babal

here's one more:

How to Impress a Woman

Compliment her,respect her,
honor her, cuddle her,
kiss her,caress her,
love her,stroke her,
tease her,comfort her,
protect her,hug her,
hold her,spend money on her,
wine and dine her, buy things for her,
listen to her,care for her, stand by her,
support her,hold her,

go to the ends of the Earth for her.

How to Impress a Man

Show up naked.
Bring food.

Reply to @nirojs: hahhahhahhaha....lolzzzz :)))

बैँक लुटी सकेर लुटेराहरुले बैँकको क्यासियरलाई पनि सँगै लान खोजेछ
क्यासियर : बैँक त लुटेए सक्यौ , अब मलाई किन साथै लान लागेको ?
लुटेरा : अब यत्रो धेरै पैसा तेरो बाउले गन्छ त ?

When Bill Gate Goes To Heaven


Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God...

"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows 95. I'm going to do something I've never done before. In your case, I'm going to let you decide where you want to go!"

Bill replied, "Well, thanks, God. What's the difference between the two?"

God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help you make a decision." "Fine, but where should I go first?" God said, "I'm going to leave that up to you." Bill said, "OK, then, let's try Hell first." So Bill went to Hell.

It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased. "This is great!" he told God, "If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!" "Fine," said God and off they went.

Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his decision. "Hmm, I think I prefer Hell" he told God. "Fine," retorted God, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell.

Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons. "How's everything going, Bill?" God asked.

Bill responded - his voice full of anguish and disappointment, "This is awful, this is not what I expected. I can't believe this happened. What happened to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?"

God says, "That was the screen saver".

राम (cell मा politely कुरा गर्दै थियो)

श्याम : को सँग कुरा गर्दै हो ?
राम : wife सँग
श्याम : यति प्रेम ले... ?
राम : तिम्रो हो नी त

wao... awesome collections...! here are few more... http://sagarkshetri.com.np/blog/?cat=99

Reply to @deSushil: ali ali garera dina paryo natra ta majai vaena ni...sun ko anda dine kukhra lai ekai choti kaateko jasto vayo...:D

A Romanian, a Jew and a Somali under a tree. A caterpillar gets on the Romanian's shoulder. The Romanian throws the caterpillar at the Jew, the Jew throws the caterpillar at the Somali, the Somali picks up the caterpillar and eats it. Another caterpillar gets on the Romanian, the Romanian throws it at the Jew, the Jew picks it up and ask the Somali: "Do you want to buy a caterpillar?"

Here more: http://stackoverflow.com/questions/184618/what-is-the-best-comment-in-source-code-you-have-ever-encountered :-))

Reply to @ssapkota:

//sometimes I believe compiler ignores all my comments :)

नेपाली प्रधानमन्त्रीलाई अमेरिकी राष्ट्रपतिबाट भोजको निम्ताआएछ । त्यो भब्य भोजमा सहभागी नेपाली प्रधानमन्त्री आश्चर्य चकित परेछन र अमेरिकी राष्ट्रपतिलाई सोधेछन ।
प्रम: यो भब्य कार्यक्रम कसरि सम्भब भयो ?
राप: (झ्यालबाट बहिर देखाउदै) उ त्यो पुल देख्नु भो ?
प्रम: देखे ।
राप: हो त्यसमा ५% खाएको ।
---------------
नेपाली प्रधानमन्त्रीलाई पनि त्यस्तै भब्य भोज दिने जङ्ग चलेछ र राष्ट्रपतिलाई नेपाल आउन निम्ता दिएछन् । निम्तो स्विकार्दै राष्ट्रपति पनि नेपाल आएछन । भोजमा सहभागी अमेरिकी राष्ट्रपति आश्चर्य चकित परेछन र नेपाली प्रधानमन्त्रीलाई सोधेछन ।
राप: यो भब्य कार्यक्रम कसरि सम्भब भयो ?
प्रम: (झ्यालबाट बहिर देखाउदै) उ त्यो पुल देख्नु भो ?
राप: अहं देखिन ।
प्रम: हो त्यो मैले सबै खाएको ।

Reply to @suzan: hahahhhahha....awesome....ROFL!!!!!

Pathan: Yar Kal papa Ne Bohat Mara.
2nd Pathan: Kyon?
1st Pathan: Kuch Nahi,
Main ne Bas Itna Poocha Tha,
“Kaminey” Film Dekhne Chalen.

Santa Writing His Diary:
My Sister Had a Baby This Morning. I’ve not Heard That its a Boy or a Girl.
So,I Dont Know Whether I am Uncle or Aunty.!!

हर्केका १०-१२ छोरा-छोरी देखेर ससुराले रिसाउँदै भनेछन््
"लाज लाग्दैन यति धेरै बच्चा जन्माउन ?"
हर्के: "ससुरा बा ! मैले बिहे गर्ने बेलामै तपाईंलाई वचन दिएको हो नि तपाईंकी छोरीलाई कहिल्यै पनि खाली पेट राख्नेछैन भनेर !"

Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned
to tell the salesman
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognized me," he thought.
He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour,
new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don\'t sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

राम : ओए, उ त्यो केटी हेर त कस्ती छे ?
श्याम : निकै राम्री छे
राम : यदि मौका पायौ भने बिहे गर्छौ त ?
श्याम : मौका मिल्छ भने बिहे किन गर्नु नि ??

३ जना गफाडीबच्चाहरु गफगर्दा
पहिलो बच्चा:-यार हाम्रो बा ले हलो जोत्यो भने धर्तिनै फाट्छ यार।
दोस्रो बच्चा:- तेरो बाउ त के हो र हाम्रो बा ले त प्लेन उडायो भने आकास नै फाट्छ्।
अनि तेस्रो बच्चा:- तिमीहरुको बाउ त के हो र, हाम्रो बा ले त झन् पादयो भने कट्टुनै फाट्छ।

छोरोः डेडी, पल्लो घरको अंकलको नाम डार्लिङ हो ?
बाबुः हैन बाबु, उसको नाम त रमेश हो ।
छोराः अनि हजुर अफिस जानासाथ मम्मीले त त्यो अंकललाई डार्लिङ भन्नुहुन्छ त

श्रीमान श्रीमतिसँग: छ्या हजुर त कस्तो भुडे हुनुभएको । एसो बिहान हिंड्ने गर्नुस न ।
श्रीमान्: तिम्रो पनि त भुडी ठुलो नै छ नि, मलाई मात्र के भन्छौ ।
श्रीमति: म त आमा बन्न लागेको भएर पो मेरो भुडी बढेको त ।
श्रीमान्: ल, म पनि त बाउ बन्दैछु नि !

एउटा गोरो मान्छे थियो, जब उस्को छोरो जन्म्यो त्यो कालो न कालो ।
उ आफ्नो स्वास्नीको मा गयो र सोध्यो : " हैन म पनि गोरो तिमी पनि गोरी छोरो चाँही किन यस्तो कालो ?"
स्वास्नी : डार्लिङ, म पनि Hot तिमी पनि Hot , बज्या जल्यो होला नि..

ग्राहक:- यो केरा कसरी हो?
पसले:- एक रुपैयाको एउटा ।
ग्राहक:- ६० पैसामा दिने?
पसले:- ६० पैसामात बोक्रामात्र आउछ ।
ग्राहक:- ए तेसो भएत यि ४० पैसा, बोक्रा राख्ने, केरा दिने ।

A tech support employee once received a call from a disgruntled lady who had purchase one of their PCs. "The cup holder on my computer broke! I just got some coffee and put it in the cup holder and then it broke, and the coffee spilled all over me! I want a replacement!" The employee was a little confused and didn't know what to say. He finally asked her to describe the cup holder to him...he'd never heard of his company selling in-computer cup holders. So the lady went on to describe the cup holder to him. "Well, it pops out of the little box when I push a button, and it has 40x written on it..."

While trying to diagnose a problem over the phone I told the user to type out his autoexec.bat file. He said it said "File not found". I told him to do a dir. I asked him if he saw autoexec.bat listed. He said, "Well it says autoexec, then there's some spaces, but no dot, and then it says bat." I said type this in "type autoexec.bat". Again he got "File not found". I asked him to tell me exactly what he typed. He said, "I typed just what you told me: `type autoexecdotbat'.

A kid was beaten by his mom.
Dad came n asked - what happen son ?
Kid said - "I cant adjust with your wife anymore, I want my own."

One guy said to another:There is easy way to get what you want.
Boy asked: How?
Guy:Tell people 'I know your secret'.
Boy went to father: Dad,i know your secret Father gave him $20 and said dont tell your mother.
Boy went to mother: Mom,i know your secret.'other gave him $50 and said dont tell your father.
Boy said to mail man: 'I know your secret'.

The mail man opened his arms and said 'Come here and hug your dad.'

Kid - Can i go to the toilet, miss?
Teacher (wants to correct him) - 'May' i go to the toilet !
Kid (innocently) - But miss, i asked first..........

सरदार श्रीमती सँग :- तिमीलाई थाहा छ , पल्लो घर मा बस्ने डक्टर को दुई जना गर्ल फ्रेन्ड र छ नि , बेसोमती मोरो ।
श्रीमती :- ए हो ? दुई दुई वटा ? अर्को चै को रहिछे ?

ग्रहाक :- ओ सरदार जि के हो लस्सिमा त झिङगा छ त ।
सरदार :- पिर नगरनुस् हजुर , त्यती सानो झिङाले कती नै लस्सी खाला र ?

a couple get a divorce and negotiate custody of their children in court.
the wife claims
"the children are mine. i carried them for nine months and spent hours in labor birthing them! he didnt do anything"
after this the judge asks for the husbands defense and
he replies;
"your honor, if you put a dollar in a coke machine and a coke pops out, does the coke belong to you or the machine?"

saurabh bola:
Wo Ruth Kar Kehti Hai Hamse,
Tumhara Toh Milna Kam Ho Gaya Hai..
Us Pagli Ko Koun Smjhaye,
Ki
PETROL Kitna Mehenga Ho Gya Hai
mein bola:
mehanga hogaya to tab bhi thik hai,
par us pagli ko koun samjhaye petrol milta kaha hai

The Love Story



There was a gal n boy who loved each other very much girl always said "My heart is always wit u m living without a heart".

After some days, gal said that she can’t marry him coz hr family disagreed.

The boy said "I need u and your family's happiness.

After few months, gal got married & was looking thru her gifts. She came across a gift & starts crying. The gift was the boy's real Heart packed in a jar.



CLIMAX-ladka ne suicide kiya ya uska murder hua?

Kyunki agar suicide kiya, toh heart pack kisne kiya?

Jaanne ke liye dekhiye.

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CID

mon-fri 6am,9am,12pm,4pm,7pm,10pm,12am,3am only on SONY.

Sat-sun: any time

Superman once got into a fight with Rajnikanth. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.....

Q.How to Kill an ANT ? 5 mrks question
Studnt: Mix CHILLY POWDER with SUGAR & keep it outside the Ant's Hole.
After eating it,ANT will search for some water near a WATER TANK, Push ant into it!Now it will GO to dry itself near fire.Wen it reaches near FIRE,put a BOMB into it. Then ADMIT the wounded ANT in ICU. Remove OXYGEN MASK frm its MOUTH & KILL THE ANT!!

Boy bought gift for His Girl friend..

GF:What the hell would I do with this rocket?

Boy:You wanted stars na?
...
Now sit on it and GET LOST!!!!

HUD HUD DABANGG

..,Student (ARJUN) DABANG dekh kar aya...!!! School may SIR:-Arjun
tumhara saare ans galat hay.................ARJUN:- kamaal karte ho
sir g marks hi to maang rahe hay pyar se de do warna thappad maar k v
le sakte hay....!!! SIR:- Battamiz..!!! ARJUN:-Battamiz se yaad aya
sir apke pitaji kaise hay??? SIR:-nikal ja class se..!!!
ARJUN:-Chup-chap marks de do warna ans sheet may itne ched karenge ki
confuz ho jaoge ki fail kaha likhe aur zero kahaan likhe.....HUD HUD
DABANGGG.....!!!

अमेरिकाबाट गाऊँमा हर्केलाइ फोनमा फुर्ति लाऊँदै
शेरे: ओबामालाइ चिन्छस?
हर्के: चिन्दिन
शेरे: अमेरिका आए पो चिन्थिस, एन्जेलिना जोलीलाइ नि?
हर्के: अहँ चिन्दिन
......शेरे अंग्रेजी फिल्म हेरे पो चिन्थिस, रिहानालाइ नि?
हर्के: चिन्दिन
शेरे: अंग्रेजी गीत सुने पो चिन्थिस, लन्ठु
शेरेका कुरा सुनेर रिसऊदै हर्के झन्कींदै भन्यो 'बिर्खेलाई चिन्छस?
शेरे :अहँ चिन्दिन यार
हर्के: तेरै स्वास्नीको नाठो हो, कहिल्यै घर बसे पो चिन्थिस?'!!!

One beggar was begging 20 rs for tea.
The person said that cup of tea is of 10 rs.
The beggar said that his girlfriend will also take one cup.
The person said surprisingly: Beggars also make girlfriends.
The beggar replied sorrowfully: Girlfriends make beggars.

रेखा थापा बाहिर गुम्न जान लाग्दा एरपोर्टमा ब्याग चेक गर्दा सलाईको बट्टा भेटियो।
चेकर- यो सलाईको बट्टामा के छ?
रेखा थापा- नतर्सनुस् यसमा मेरो कपडा छ।

Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife.
Two seconds later a report came
to his phone and he started dancing.
The report said, "DELIVERED". balle balle :) :)

प्रेमी : हैन ! तिमीले यो मिनीस्कर्ट लगाएको देखेर तिम्रो बुवाले गाली
गर्नु हुन्न ?
प्रेमीका : अहँ! गर्नु हुन्न तर ममिले चाँहि गाली गर्नु हुन्छ ।
प्रेमी : अनि ममिले चाँही किन त्यसरि गाली गरेको नि ?
प्रेमीका : ममिलाई आफ्नो लुगा अरुले लगाको मन पर्दैनु त्यसैले।

Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary Expected: He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote: Yes